This Will Crack You Up

Being married to the miller’s daughter, a bona fide baker in her own right of oven delights from who knows how many different kinds of breads, cakes, cookies, stuff I never heard of and can’t pronounce, to fun things to eat such as soft pretzels, our house is very rarely without at least one or two of the above mentioned goodies.  And then periodically in return of the occasional borrowed cup of sugar, a few eggs or a few onions, a treat from the list mentioned above will show up at the house from one of the many good cooks and or bakers living nearby.  Chester makes some wickedly good sour dough bread and Larry can bang out an apple pie to die for.

Even so, given the above, every once in a while the goodie you planned to accompany dinner turns out to be shall we say slightly hard with maybe a green or whitish tint, or didn’t get taken out of the freezer, or was forgotten to be put on the weekly shopping list; for whatever reason, the must-have bread or roll or whatever is not there.  What to do? What to do?

On a lot of evenings for our main meal of the day, Bobby makes this terrifically tasting sort of just a little wider than a bagel chip mini piece of “enhanced garlic bread.”  I remember how this got started.  My favorite Sportif shorts were becoming how who knows too tight; probably from too hot water on laundry day, I’m thinking.  Also, I was determined to wear one of my comfortable light weight Brooks Brothers suits for the upcoming summer wedding of one of my lovely nieces (can’t remember either Betsy Lee or Doni Lee), and that too appeared to have been altered smaller; must of have been the dry cleaner, I’m thinking.

So one night when Bobby asked me how many pieces of his garlic bread did I want with dinner, instead of two or three, I asked for just one, but, please cut it into three or four slices, hence the thin bagel chip like size.  And then came one of those “nothing in the house nights” and back to the What to do?

Here’s what I did.  The Pozuelo soda cracker (in USA they are called saltines) is by far the most popular and most consumed snack for grown folks and kids alike, and accompaniment for meals from soup to stews in Costa Rica.  They are my favorite middle of the night snack because there are 8 crackers to the pack, three for me and one for each of the puppies.  We never run out of Pozuelo soda crackers.

What to do?  I just pulled out a pack of crackers, put them on a plate, spritzed on one hit of olive oil, a few shakes of our Crazu seasoning (garlic included), a little parsley and a few sprinkles of grated parmesan cheese, and put it under the broiler for seconds.  Boom!  Instant seasoned bread chip, exactly what I was looking for to go with dinner.

Over time, my Sportifs shorts stopped coming back laundry day tighter than when put into the laundry, and I changed dry cleaners. My lovely wife and Bobby still look at me and shake their heads when I make this fancy cracker, and I’m afraid I’ve further spoiled the English Springer Spaniels, if that is or was possible.  Pura vida


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